My Driving Experiences

It’s one of those days.  You know, the morning that you spill your coffee all over your crisp white shirt, the afternoon you nap through your big test, or the night out with friends that goes all wrong.  When I’m having one of those miserable, rage-provoking days, I find that I deal with them pretty well if I have time to drive around with my friends.  Talking alone, while it is an opportunity to vent, is not an escape from your surroundings.  Getting away, even just a few miles away, can change your perspective entirely.  Driving, with your favorite song on, receiving and giving advice, is extremely healing for me.    

           

Sometimes these conversations I have in the car end up being superficial or self-interested, but on certain occasions, we find ourselves talking about more important issues.  I’ve found out so many things about my close friends just by listening to them in the car, and often times, I find out that their opinions are quite different than what I would have expected. 

Most of the drives we take are short and to usual places like the mall, Target, or out to eat.  But, sometimes, we decide to take longer trips.  Junior year of high school, against our parent’s advice, my friend Farrah and I decided we would take a few days off and drive around Texas, visiting potential colleges.  We first went to Texas State, close to our home of Austin.  We then traveled to Rice, A&M, Baylor, TCU, and SMU.  The time we spent together driving back and forth, talking about what we wanted in the future, brought me way closer to her.  We talked each other through all of our fears about college, moving away, and who we would become.  When we came back from that trip, I felt like I knew so much more about what I wanted out of life.

               

Drives, even when taken alone, continue to have a calming effect on me.  I buy more gas than the average person, but I believe it’s worth it for me.  It’s exciting going places I’ve never been and driving just to see where I’ll end up.  I don’t typically think of myself as even the least bit adventurous.  I’m usually more on the safe side, worrying about what’s around the corner.  But when I’m in my car, driving down the highway, or a quiet street, I have absolutely no fear of the unknown.  This simple experience, that most people take for granted, or even consider tedious and aggravating, is one of my biggest pleasures. 

EASTER

Easter has been my favorite holiday ever since I can remember.  Of course, Christmas is a close runner-up, but the feelings surrounding Easter are like no other.  Yes, on Christmas Eve my family and I go to a wonderful church service, and on Christmas morning there are many presents every year. 

But with Easter, I will always remember how much I loved to get dressed up in my fancy dress to go Easter egg hunting at the church and how much I looked forward to dying eggs with my family.  Dying eggs at my house is a tradition that everyone loves.  We fill coffee cups with different colored dye and let the little ones pick the colors they want to dye their eggs.  Of course, it can get messy, with kids dunking their eggs into dye and reaching their hands in when they shouldn’t, but I guess that’s what is so fun about it. 

Spring is my favorite season, with its bright flowers, birds chirping, and sudden rainstorms.  The weather is warm and dewy, and it is perfect for spending some quality time outside.  Easter comes at a perfect time, and this year in particular, it has given me a brief weekend to forget about my final exams that lie ahead.  I get to spend time with my family and friends, eat good food, and embrace the idea of summer being around the corner. 

Easter is the one holiday where I can embrace my love for candy, bunnies, and pastel all in one day.  The big chocolate bunnies, marshmallow Peeps, and Reese’s eggs are always staples in my house around this time, and I have a feeling my parent’s will never stop giving me an Easter basket, even when I’m an adult living on my own.  They love the tradition as much as I do.  Even my black lab Bonnie has fun chasing the bunnies that live in our yard.  I wish I could tell the innocent bunnies that Bonnie may not have the best intentions, but I guess they will figure that out soon enough.  Poor bunnies.

Megan and I

My cousin Megan and I have grown up together, and I feel like she is my twin.  We have experienced a lot of the same things, including vacations together, family reunions, and even the same schools.  Our moms are twins named Rhonda Fay and Wanda Kay.  Cheesy, I know.  We are always told we are their clones, even though we see ourselves as very different from them, as most teenagers do.  Our moms wanted us to be like sisters from the start, and I am thankful for the way we have grown up together.

Megan was born in April of 1991 and I was born in August of 1991.  We are so similar in age that we always had the same interests.  We fought like sisters, but we would get infuriated if anyone else said anything bad about the other.  For the first few years of our lives, our moms worked together, and we would spend the days with our Mimi and Papa.  They would take us to the park daily and we frequented the zoo and local restaraunts.  Some of my happiest memories are times that I’ve spent with them on these simple trips.

I’m happy that instead of being in daycare I got to spend so much time with my family.  I am best friends with Megan to this day, and we talk multiple times a day.  It is nice knowing that no matter what happens we will always have each other to talk to.  I have had moments where I was so angry at Megan that we would not talk for days, but since we are family, there is really no escaping each other. 

Our bond is closer than with any of our own siblings or other cousins.  Sometimes at family reunions we find ourselves talking together and excluding others, without even realizing we do it.  We are attached at the hip, and I wouldn’t want to be without her.  When we have families of our own, I already assume that our children will be best friends.  It’s just how we have always wanted it.  I always joke with her that if we both have twins, since they run in our family; we are going to have our hands full.  But the point is, no matter how our lives turn out or what the future holds, we will always have each other.  It’s reassuring to know that there is someone out there, besides your parents, that would do anything for you, without you even having to ask.

Francis Macomber

               I really enjoyed “The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber.”  Even though the characters were all annoying in their own way, I was definitely rooting for poor Francis the whole time.  I thought it was interesting how Hemingway gave us insight into each of the characters and their distinct personalities, while also keeping things subtle.  Margaret would ask Francis questions that seemed innocent, but as the reader, we knew that she was trying to rouse up his emotions and make him feel like less of a man.  By keeping him this way, she had full control of the relationship.  If Francis feels small and powerless, he will not dare take the risk of leaving his beautiful wife to find another.  But, if she loses that control over him, Francis can steer himself away from her, which is hard for her to accept.

                The way that Hemingway described the buffalo and the lion in such great detail allowed me to see the magnitude of the situation.  If I encountered a wild animal like that, I too would be frightened.  Francis was completely out of his pretty boy element when he went on this hunt.  I believe that he knew what he was getting into but felt like he had something to prove.

                Once Margaret cheated on Francis with Wilson, I was completely turned off by her, even more than I had been before.  She came off as sneaky and just plain cruel.  It was as if she would do anything to belittle Francis, and I have never seen a woman with that much disregard for a relationship.  Women are usually the ones who treasure monogamous relationships, and she was acting out and ruining her credibility in my eyes.

                When Francis was shot in the head, I first thought that the buffalo had died and that Hemingway was describing how the buffalo felt.  But when I realized that Margaret was crying and holding the gun, I immediately assumed that she had killed Francis.  Even though the story claims that it was an accident, I do not think for a second that she was aiming for the buffalo.  She was not the type of woman to be courageous for Francis, and she was looking out for herself only.  She was upset that Francis had changed into a confident man, ready to take on anything.  She could not stand to see him leave her.  Francis will never get the justice he deserves for losing his life so suddenly, but Margaret will see that Wilson is now in control of her and can turn on her any minute and say she murdered him.

Moving to Texas

Before moving to Texas, I lived in a rural area of South Carolina called Little Mountain, right outside of Chapin and about 30 minutes from Columbia, the capitol.  My family is Catawba Indian and German.  We are an odd mix, but we have a deep-rooted connection to each other and the South.  Much of my extended family still lives in the country, and I have close relatives throughout the Carolinas, Georgia, and Tennessee.  Since we were so far from everything, my life in South Carolina was pretty basic.  I had a much simpler life than I do now, and I appreciated the little things and never thought about much else.  I would play outside with my brother every day, since we did not have cable television.     Riding my bike outside, sitting by our pond, and playing in the tree house my dad built me, all felt right, and I did not desire anything more.  I learned to be independent and since we were so far out of town, I became very close to my brother and cousins, giving us a wonderful relationship today.

Upon moving to Texas, everything changed.  We went from being a low maintenance Southern family, to upgrading to a large neighborhood.  I was excited for the change, but at the same time, resentful towards my parents for taking me away from everyone and everything I knew.  When they say everything is bigger in Texas, it is true.  Austin, Texas was such a shock.  I was the only one at my new school with a deep South Carolina accent, and I immediately trained myself to lose it because of how everyone mocked me.  I felt like I didn’t fit in, and I tried extremely hard to do so.  Before moving to Texas, I had no idea what the popular name brands were and what activities were “cool”.  Once I realized that no one rode their bike in my neighborhood, I stopped riding my bike.  I rarely played outside after the move, and I turned to watching TV and wanting a cell phone.   I changed into a kid that was focused on getting my nails done and going to the mall to get the latest clothes, instead of the down to earth girl I was before. 

To this day, I believe that I would be a completely different person if I had never moved to Texas.  I would much more relaxed and a lot less of a “diva” about things.  I realize that I can still go back to being the adventurous, fun-loving girl that I used to be, and I strive every day to stay grounded.  Life should not be about status or material items.  Life should be about family, nature, and enjoying the things you love.  No one should ever tell you what the right thing to like is or how you should dress.  I want to raise my children in the country, with their family, so that they will learn the core values that I did as a kid.  I agree that neighborhoods and fancy architecture are great, but I also think that we are losing the ability to see the beauty of nature and family that is right in front of us.

Billy Collins - "On Turning Ten"

Billy Collins is one of my favorite poets of those we have read.  I enjoyed the poem “On Turning Ten” because it reminded me a lot of the coming-of-age theme we have discussed so often in class.  Collins uses language everyone can relate with to describe the difficulties that come with maturity and loss of innocence.  Leaving childhood behind is something we have all experienced, and it can be a difficult process to come to terms with.

                I loved the line, “at seven I was a soldier, at nine a prince.”  Some of the most vivid memories of my own childhood relate to this imaginary world that my friends and I once lived in.  We would play house together, and when it was nice out, I would play cops and robbers with my brother and his friends outside.  This playfulness is a child’s creative outlet, and as we age, we often lose the ability to play.  As children, it’s simple to take a step back from your own life and realize that everything doesn’t have to be so serious.  I guarantee that when I’m stressing out about some test, paper, or deadline, that the younger version of me would disapprove of how tense I can be.  It makes me realize that life is much too short to spend it worried or stressed.

                The poem ends by describing the harsh transformation from a naïve child to a more informed 10-year old.  Collins writes, “It seems only yesterday I used to believe, there was nothing under my skin but light.  If you cut me I could shine.  But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life, I skin my knees. I bleed.”  To me, the light under his skin represents happiness, youth, and freedom.  When he falls on his knees and bleeds, he shows that we become vulnerable to the harsh reality of the world as we age.  We gain knowledge, but we lose the subconscious ability to push the worries and troubles aside.

                Even though this may seem somewhat depressing, I think there is hope.  I’ve met many adults who are as carefree and happy as children.  I’ve been told that smiling and laughing will lengthen your life, and after witnessing the wonderful life of my great-grandmother and countless older role models, I believe it is true.  We turn ten, twenty, forty, and if we make it there, we go on to be eighty and older.  This poem reminds me that we have to consciously make an effort to keep our spirit youthful, even after our mind and body have aged.

The Three-Day Blow

I really enjoyed “The Three-Day Blow.”  I think Hemingway was writing about a stage that every teenager goes through.  Nick is at an age in the story where he is going through changes in his life and his personality.  He is trying to find out what he wants out of life, when he wants it, and what direction he should take to get there. 

                I believe that Nick decides to drink in an attempt to flood his emotions away.  He responds to Bill with simple answers and multiple times he says nothing at all.  I think Hemingway does this to show how deep in contemplation Nick is about everything.  He is sitting, thinking, and drinking, hoping to find an answer to his question of whether he did the right thing by pushing Marjorie away. 

                When Nick starts to believe that he has a chance to change things and that nothing is permanent, a weight lifts off of his shoulders and he has hope for the future.  This is an experience I can relate to in my own life.  I know that sometimes I wonder whether I made the right decision for my life but knowing that everything is never over just because of one decision, is always reassuring.  We all have the ability to change our lives and steer ourselves in a new direction from the one we are heading in now.

                This short story showed me a new side of Nick.  I now see Nick as a teenager in transition, who cannot decide between being a free man like Bill and becoming a family man with Marjorie.  In my view, he likes the freedom but he needs a woman.  He wants what his father doesn’t have, and by the end of the story, he realizes that it is all still attainable.

                The story is set in a time in history where there is a massive change going on in America that is even larger than Nick’s own changes.  The world around Nick is evolving into a modern age, and this transformation contributes to Nick’s confusion.  He has to find his place in this new world, and he has options that are conflicting. 

This story is relevant to teenagers growing up in the world today, also.  There are many changes occurring, that in my opinion, can either be good or bad.  We rely so much on technology that our personal relationships may suffer in the future.  Our communication is through the internet and smart phones, and the world feels smaller than ever before.  This is good for business and economic growth, but it can be debilitating when it comes to our human need to feel connected to other people on an intimate level.  “The Three-Day Blow” got me thinking about the changes in my own life, and I think it’s a story that still holds true today and will forever.